R. Hugh Knyvett - Over There with the Australians

R >> R. Hugh Knyvett >> Over There with the Australians

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Once again I entered a hospital-train, but this time I would have no
mussing round me as if I were a helpless child, but went upright, as a
man should, though on crutches.

When we journeyed to the port there was one of our good old Australian
coasters waiting to bear us back again--Home. The old A. U. S. N.
steamer that I had so often travelled on from Brisbane to Sydney was
now under command of the Australian navy and had the proud designation
of "His Majesty's Australian Hospital-Ship."

CHAPTER XXIX

THE HOSPITAL-SHIP

Some people think that they have made a sea journey when they cross the
English Channel, and Dover to Calais holds for many the memory of an
age of misery. I don't suppose the provisions on these Channel
steamers have very great inroads made upon them by the passengers. The
soldiers have a song that well expresses experiences on this narrow
stretch of water.

"Sea, sea, why are you angry with me?
Ever since I left Dover,
I thought the ship would go over ----" (etc.)

But on the longer journey across the Atlantic from England to America
there is more time to get one's sea-legs, and on the last day or two
passengers begin to enjoy the sea journey. But this is quite enough of
the sea for any one but an amphibian. The three weeks journey from
America to Australia gets decidedly monotonous, and long before
sighting Sydney Heads and entering the world's "pearl of ports" every
one has had his fill of the sea. But lengthen that journey by three
and you have had enough sea travel for a lifetime.

Well, we left England and for an eternity sailed south, seeing land
only on one day and smelling it for a week. Then we clung to the end
of Africa for seven days and then sailed east for a decade till
Australia got in our way, and as it could not be passed without a long
detour, we were deposited on its soil. In nine weeks we only called at
two ports, Freetown on the west coast of Africa, and Durban on the east
coast. Freetown has the usual strong combination smell of nigger,
cinnamon, and decaying vegetation, in an atmosphere of heavy steam,
that characterizes all tropical towns inhabited by our "black brother."
We were told that this place had but a few years ago the pleasant
subtitle of "The White Man's Grave." If you served one year here in
the government service you were entitled to retire for life on a
pension, but the likelihood was that long before your term was up you
would retire to a six-foot-by-two allotment near the beach, in the
company of countless predecessors. But science had been at work here,
as at Panama, and wire gauze and the kerosene spray had captured the
first trenches of yellow fever and malaria, and against these weapons
of the medico all counter-attacks have been unavailing. Some strong
hand was ruling in this town, for the streets were spotless and the
dogs lean. And, oh, how the nigger does hate cleanliness! Evidently
this town was free in a real sense because well disciplined. We were
told that all the white people lived up on the hill that backed the
town and many kind invitations of hospitality were sent to us; so those
whose wills were stronger than the enervating hand of the
weather-master boarded the toy train and were carried up and up toward
the summit of the hills above the steam heat, where the air seemed to
be fanned from the very cooling-house of God. I had the pleasure of
being entertained by a French priest who had been on the western front
in the early days of the war, and he added to our knowledge more
first-hand stories of the bestial Huns' ravaging of convents and raping
of nuns. The bishop of this protectorate could not do enough for us,
and although we were not of his faith, he looked on us as children who
were very dear to the heart of God because of our sacrifices of blood
and flesh for the right.

We loaded ourselves down with curios, buying tiger-rugs, mats,
bead-necklaces, tom-toms, and assegais. We strung these chiefly round
our necks, as we had to have hands free to manipulate our crutches, and
some of us looked more like the "ol' clo' man" than smart army
officers. Of course "Bertie Gloom" had to suggest that we would have
to pay more duty on the "old junk" when we got it to Australia even
than the price that the dealers had already robbed us of.

At Durban the first thing we saw was a girl in white semaphoring like
mad from the rocks. As we spelled out that she was trying to tell us
that she was an Australian, we gave her three times three. Our
difficulty in reading her message was not through her bad signalling
but because of her speed. Doubt if we had a signaller on board so
quick! This was not the last of our indebtedness to her, for when we
got into the wharf she had a regiment of Kaffirs with sugar-bags full
of apples and oranges, and while we were still fifty yards from the
wharf she began throwing them through the port-holes and into the hands
of the men on deck. Not a half of one per cent fell short. She would
have made a dandy bomber, and was a dandy all round.

In fact, the people of Durban were the most hospitable and patriotic of
any people we had met. A delegation of citizens and ladies came down
to the boat to inform us that we were the guests of the city and that
everything was free to us. And later on we found them not to have
exaggerated in the slightest. No one would accept money from us,
though I don't think any of us tried to get diamond rings on these
terms, but conductors on tram-cars and trains and motor-drivers and
ticket-collectors at theatres one and all told us that our money was no
good and gave to us their best seats.

This did not apply to the rickshaws, for they were run by Zulus and
charged by the hour. You would climb in, the shafts would go up in the
air, until you thought you were going to be tipped out at the back, and
a herculean Zulu, decorated with horns and red and white stripes so
that he might look like the devil, whom he, in reality, outdevilled,
would rest himself on the body of the rick and trot along at a rate of
six or seven miles an hour, quite able to keep up the pace all day. As
a matter of fact, they never wanted to know where you were going, and
even if you told them to take you to the post-office they would go
round and round the block, never stopping to let you out unless you
gave them a good poke in the ribs with your stick. Somewhere in their
brains was an infernal taximeter adding up the dimes, and like their
first cousins with the leather caps, they were determined to squeeze
from you your last cent.

Apart from the ordinary entertainments we found that fetes and feasts
had been arranged for our delectation at the Y. M. C. A. and soldiers'
clubs, so that every minute of our stay was crowded enjoyment. Even
those of us who preferred quieter pleasures were not without
companions, and I know of no more delightful journey in the whole world
than a trip by tram-car to the Zoo or out along the Berea. Durban has
certainly one of the most picturesque situations of any city in the
world, and the art of man has been used with taste to reinforce nature:
there are no homes in more delightful surroundings with lovelier
shrubbery and gardens than here. The people of Durban have not only an
eye for beauty but they are very up to date and have a coaling
apparatus that holds the world's record for speed in the coaling of
ships.

Besides these two ports we made two other stops on the journey, but
these were where there was no land. The first one was wholly
involuntary, and not much to our liking, for through a breakdown in our
engines we drifted helplessly for two days in the very centre of the
danger zone of submarines.

Our next stop had also some connection with these sharks, for we
sighted floating in mid-ocean two life-boats and we went close to them
but there was no one on board--only oars and water-casks. That's
all--just another mystery of the sea--no name, no clew. Another day we
sighted a steamer hull down, evidently water-logged, and we were going
to her assistance when a cruiser came along and told us to go about our
business and get out of harm's way as quickly as we could. This
cruiser was just a little whiff of "scented gum"; and Australian air to
us, for she was one of the best known of the Australian squadron.

There is a lonely island in the mid-Indian Ocean which is the only land
for thousands of miles, and it is an unwritten law of the sea that
every ship going that way should steam round it and watch carefully for
signal-fires or signs of human occupation, for it is the place that
shipwrecked sailors make for, and therefore there have been placed on
the island several casks of fresh water and a supply of flour, and
goats have been turned loose until they now overrun it. If a ship
should find any one marooned thereon they are bound to replace all the
water and flour that has been used. At one time there was a large
fresh-water lake in the extinct crater of a volcano, but the sea has
now broken through and made it salt. We steamed very close in, blew
the siren, and had there been a pygmy there he would not have been
overlooked as hundreds of trained eyes searched the rocks with glasses.
We also got some fine photographs of this romantic isle in its waste of
waters.

The officers' ward was on the upper deck and our nurse had a twin
sister in another ward and there was not a particle of difference
between them. If I was lying on the deck and should call out to our
nurse as she passed to get me something, she would generally say, "I'll
ask my sister," for, of course, it was the wrong one. There was
endless confusion, for when we had a little tiff with our nurse, her
sister would be sent to Coventry as well, and in a deck golf tournament
there was great dispute over who won the ladies' prize, for both
sisters claimed it. This matter could not be settled, as the umpire
was not sure if he had credited the scores to the right one. The prize
was a set of brushes and we told them it would have to do for both,
which was all right, as we were sure they wore each other's clothes
anyway. They told us they had made a vow when they married not to live
in the same town for the husbands' sake!

The routine of the days was deadly monotonous with a break of a concert
on Saturday and church on Sunday. Unfortunately, we had on board only
two who could sing and one who thought he could recite. And even of
those whose performance exceeded their own opinion we got tired before
the journey ended. There were others who attempted to entertain us who
afflicted us so much that after three performances we gave them the
choice of suicide or having their tonsils cut, so the concerts petered
out and the audience at the last one did not pay for the moving of the
piano.

The shipping company who had transferred the ship to the Admiralty for
the duration of the war still kept on the catering, and retained the
same bill of fare as on their passenger trade. There was a good deal
of variety and we always were able to get enjoyment with wondering what
we would have for the next meal. They even helped us out a bit by
calling the same dish by different names on different days and the same
curry tasted differently under the names of "Madras," "Bengal,"
"Simla," "Ceylon," "Indian," and "Budgeree," and the cooking would even
have satisfied Americans. The nurses were seated at one long table in
the saloon and formed an island completely surrounded by officers. The
twins were on opposite sides of the table, and of course we always
found after dinner that we had been signalling to the wrong one. We
observed a good deal of ceremony and always stood to attention until
the nurses were seated, but the nurse who came in late and made us
interrupt an interesting conversation with a tender chicken got plenty
of black looks. When the matron rose we stood to attention again while
they filed out and then "carried on" with the meal.

One morning there was great excitement. Up from the lower decks the
electric current of expectancy ran until every one's steps quickened
and those of us who were on wooden legs beat a constant tattoo on the
decks. What means this eager, anxious thrill? To-morrow we would
sight Australia! Only 43,200 seconds--720 minutes--or 12 hours, and
once again we would view the fairest continent planted by God in the
seas. Mind you, the first sight of Australia (going that way) is not
very attractive. Rottenest Island, outside Fremantle, is sandy and
barren and really not much to boast about, yet had you spread before us
a scene from the Garden of Eden it had not charmed us half so much.
For this was part of Australia, the land that we all called home. Back
of that, for three thousand miles, stretched the country that held our
ain folk and love and joy and home and what a man fights for and
worships.

Every man had to be up on deck to see this sight. There were men there
paralyzed, who had never moved during the whole long journey, but the
saddest sight was to see the blind turning their sightless eyes in its
direction and smiling with ecstasy, and maybe it looked more fair to
these than to us who could see. How those boys cheered and cheered
again! What a new spirit pervaded the ship! All day laughter and
singing rang out, for there are no more patriotic troops in the world
than the Australian soldiers, and, East, West, Hame's best. Like the
old King of Ithaca we had wandered for years in many lands, but at last
had returned home, and soon would have Penelope in our arms.

But only the Westralians were really home, and some of these had two or
three hundred miles to go; for the rest of us there was still a
fortnight more in the old ship as we sailed across the base of
Australia to the eastern States.

CHAPTER XXX

IN AUSTRALIA

When the ship drew in at the Melbourne wharf I made up my mind to escape
the fuss and hero-worship, as I was a Queenslander and knew that none of
my folks were among the crowd waiting at the gates. I went to the
military landing-officer and asked him if I could not go out another way
and dodge the procession. He said the orders were that every officer and
man was to be driven in special cars to the hospital. I then went down
onto the wharf and approached one of the ladies who looked as if she
would play the game and I said to her: "If I ride in your car, will you
promise to do me a favor?" She said: "I would do anything for you." I
then said: "Well, let me out as soon as we get outside the gate." She
demurred a good deal but I reminded her that no Australian girl I knew
ever broke a promise. When we got outside I boarded a tram-car, which
had not gone far before it had to stop to let the procession pass. Of
course, every one would see that I was a returned soldier, but there was
nothing to show that I was _just_ returned. I stood up in the tram-car
with the rest of the passengers and cheered and threw cigarettes and
remarked loudly to all and sundry: "Some more boys come back, eh?" But
my well-laid plans were entirely spoiled as my friends in the automobile
called put, "Here, Knyvett, you dog, come out of that! Here's your
place!" and I disgracefully subsided with many blushes, and had to endure
all the way up to Melbourne the whispers and concentrated gaze of the
whole tramful. I also "fell in" in another way, for when I rang up my
uncle I found that he and his daughter were looking for me down at the
wharf gates.

Two years ago the site of Caulfield Hospital was a wilderness of weeds
and sand. Now it is an area of trim lawns and blazing gardens,
bowling-greens, croquet-lawns, and tennis-courts, with comfortable huts,
the gift of the people of Melbourne to their wounded soldiers, costing
several hundred thousand dollars. As I had served with Victorian troops
I was assigned to this hospital, although my home was over a thousand
miles away in the northern state of Queensland. All who were fit to
travel were given fourteen days "disembarkation leave" to visit their
homes, but twelve of these days I had to spend in travel and only had two
days at home after such long absence.

My wounds had healed but I was still paralyzed in my left leg, and the
only attention I required was daily massage for an hour, and then another
hour in the torture-chamber with an electric current grilling me. After
this was over, I would go into the city, do the block, have afternoon
tea, give an address at the Town Hall recruiting-depot, go to a theatre,
and then as there seemed nothing else to be done, would return to the
hospital. Such was my programme for ninety days. Sometimes I varied it
by visiting the Zoo to commiserate with the wild animals on being caged.

There were many red-letter days when I was entertained by friends; but I
am afraid I only squeaked when they expected roars--to be lionized was
too unusual not to have stage fright a little.

The women in Australia are well organized and see to it that if a boy has
a dull time it's his own fault. All the automobiles of the city were
registered with the Volunteer Motor Corps, and each day certain of them
were allotted to take wounded soldiers for picnics. We would generally
be driven to some pretty suburb and there would be spread before us a
feast of good things. At the end of the meal some of us felt like the
little boy who said to his mother after the party: "I'm so tired, mummie,
carry me up-stairs to bed, but don't bend me!"

There were concerts every night for the stay-at-home, but I only managed
to get to one, given by the pupils of Madam Melba, which was a feast of
harmony. After the programme refreshments were brought round by V. A.
D.'s, whom the boys called, "Very Artful Dodgers," but it was not the
"Thank you for the cakes and tea!" that they dodged! We had a
cricket-match, one-armers versus one-leggers, and we one-leggers were
allowed to catch the ball in our hats; but the one-leggers lost as we
were nearly all run out. Some of us being half-way down the pitch as the
ball was thrown in, would throw one crutch at the wickets, knocking off
the bails, when the umpire, who had no legs at all, would give his
decision that we were "stumped."

A huge Red Cross carnival was held near the hospital which netted about
fifty thousand dollars. We were guests of honor, and on this occasion in
the enormous crowds found "Long John" (one of the doctors, who was seven
feet tall) very useful. He wondered why he was being followed about by
several girls whom he did not know. We explained to him afterward that a
good number of us who had "meets" had thought out the ingenious scheme of
telling the girl to meet us at "Long John," who would be the tallest
object on the grounds. We told him that he didn't play the game properly
by moving about so much, as our friends complained that they were just
worn out following him round.

The carnival was one enormous fair--there were row on row of stalls,
decorated in the colors of all the Allied flags, with the girls serving
at them dressed in peasant costumes. The goods on the needlework-stalls
represented the work of weeks--there were flower-stalls, sweet-stalls,
produce-stalls, book-stalls, and in and out of the crowds girls went
selling raffle-tickets for everything under the sun--from tray-cloths to
automobiles and trips to Sydney. Ballyhoo-men stood at tent-doors,
calling the crowd to come and see the performing kangaroo, the wild man
from Borneo, or, "Every time you hit him you get a good cigar!" "Him"
was a grinning black face stuck obligingly through a hole in a sheet.
There were groups of tables and chairs under bright-colored umbrellas,
every here and there, where good things to eat were served all day. The
fun lasted well into the night, when there were concerts, and dancing,
and even the one-legged men tried to dance.

I don't think I had any other meals at the hospital than breakfast which
I always had in bed. There was an orderly officer who was very unpopular
as he had been months round the hospital and missed many chances of going
to the front. One day the men played a trick on him. When he came into
the dining-room to ask if there were any complaints one of them picked up
a dish which was steaming hot and said: "Look here, sir! What do you
think of this?" He picked up a spoon and tasted it. "Why, my man,
that's very good soup! You're lucky to get such good food." "But, sir,
it's not soup, it's dish-water!" (Curtain.)

At last the Medical Board sat on my case and their decision left me
gasping for breath, for they recommended that I be discharged as
permanently unfit for further military service. But nature sometimes
plays sorry pranks with medical decisions. Not more than a week after
this, movement suddenly returned to my leg and I threw away my crutches
and was able to walk almost as well as ever. About ten days after
leaving hospital I had sailed back for France via America, but have not
at the time of writing been able to get across the Atlantic.

CHAPTER XXXI

USING AN IRISHMAN'S NERVE

I have been saving this for a separate chapter; for besides a natural
hesitation in admitting that I am not "all there," I want to have
sufficient space in which to express my gratitude to the doctor who
performed the operation and to the "unknown" who had his leg amputated,
so providing me with a portion of his anatomy that I was in sore need
of. Of course, in these days when surgical miracles are happening
continually there is nothing outstanding about this operation, and
surgeons have wonderful opportunities in a military hospital, where
there are so many spare human parts lying about to patch up a man with.
I quite believe that from three smashed men they could make a whole
one, which, after all, would not be such a marvel when one remembers
that they are continually grafting bones and nerves, and I for one
would not like to say that in the next war they may not be able to cure
a man who has lost his head entirely, and as a matter of fact, one of
the San Francisco papers informed its readers (and as in this country
the impossible of yesterday happens to-day, no doubt they believed it
to be true) that I had had another man's leg grafted onto me. After
such a statement it is an anti-climax to have to inform the public that
it was only a portion of nerve that was grafted.

I had been lying in hospital several weeks before I got worried about
the fact that I could not move my leg. Then when the great-hearted,
plain-faced doctor who was attending to me said, "How's the man of many
wounds this morning?" I asked: "Why is it my leg is dead?" He said:
"We're only waiting for the wounds to heal until we test it." And sure
enough a day or two later I was put in the electric chair for
"reactions." When the current was put onto my right leg I howled and
twisted, but with twice the current on my left leg nothing happened, as
I felt nothing. Some days later a great nerve specialist operated on
me and when I came back to this workaday world from the land of fancy,
whither the ether had borne me, I was informed that a portion of nerve
had been grafted in my leg and that in about three months I might be
able to use it.

At this time I had no idea from whom the portion of nerve came. I did
not like to inquire, for I was afraid that if I met its previous owner
I might be prejudiced against it. Every portion of one's body is so
closely related to the rest that I was afraid if his face did not suit
my fancy I might subconsciously come to resemble him. But whenever I
met one-legged men in the corridors or concert-hall I would try to pick
out the one I would most like to receive such an intimate gift from.
Some of these had a refined, delicate appearance, and I immediately
feared that I would grow tenderfooted, while others looked like
pugilists and I immediately imagined my foot was becoming calloused and
might become longer than the other.

So purposely I remained in ignorance of the religion and nationality of
my new nerve. Once for a whole day I sweat blood lest it might be a
German, and then I plucked up courage to ask if there were any Germans
in the hospital, and when I learned that there were not I slept like a
child for many hours. On Saturdays I felt it might be a Jew or a
Seventh-Day Adventist, but then it did not work on other days either,
so I thought it must be I. W. W., "I Won't Work" as they are called in
Australia. Then one day I was sure it was from one of the same
religion as myself, for that leg was perspiring alone, and in the
outback country in Australia, where the temperature reaches one hundred
and twenty degrees in the shade, the Presbyterian Church is sometimes
called "Perspiration." At any rate, I read in a paper that in one town
the three churches were Anglican, Roman Catholic, and Perspiration. As
to nationality it might be Scotch, as I had to be "_verra cautious_" in
moving it, or English, being so "_sensitive_" to the touch. It was
only after movement returned that I was quite sure it was Irish! For
ever since then the Home Rule controversy has been going on in my body,
for when I want to place my foot in a certain position, it's bound to
try and go some other way. You can see from all this that I don't know
much about nerves, and I even wonder sometimes whether, if they put in
my leg a nerve from an arm, I might not try to shake hands with it like
the armless man in the circus, or, if it happened to belong to the
opposite leg, whether or not I would be pigeon-toed.

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